awkwardette

There is a paradox that exists in the minds of many people on OkCupid:

There is a question asked, something to the effect of “How often do you think your significant other should contact you?” or “How often do you want to see your significant other?” Most of the time, people answer with something to the effect of “Every once in awhile,” “A few times a week,” “Not every day.” People’s explanations are in depth about how they need to be their own person. How in order for the relationship to work, they need space. They cannot handle a smothering partner. 

Fair enough.

Then there is the question “Once intimate, how often would you and your partner have sex?” Virtually every single guy who answers this question answers with “Every day.” I answer with “Once or twice a week” in line with the fact that this is probably how often I will see my partner. I get the pink highlight of death (meaning unacceptable answer to them). 

HOW ARE YOU GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH YOUR PARTNER EVERY DAY IF YOU REFUSE TO TEXT/HANG OUT WITH YOUR PARTNER EVERY DAY? What is this sorcery you think you can conjure up?

So I’m on Nerve, reading about Jeff Who Lives at Home. I scroll down, on the side, there is an ad for Nerve Dating. I am not even logged in to Nerve Dating. In the ad, it pulls from some random profile. And of course, Nerve Dating recommends some dude I’ve been needlessly sweating for a couple of weeks already. I didn’t even know he had a Nerve Dating account because I met him on OkCupid, and this is how Nerve Dating expects to lure me in? “Look we gots a ton of motherfuckers who won’t call you back! Pay us to introduce you to these motherfuckers because you ain’t meeting enough douchenozzles for free EXCEPT ACTUALLY YOU ARE!”